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- Lessons I Learned From 50 Shades of Grey [1 Update]
- Ten Reasons To Become A Coach [1 Update]
- Five Steps to Finding Your Soulmate [1 Update]
- Seven Methods to Combat Depression Without Medication [1 Update]
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- "Kim Olver" <submissions@isnare.net> May 09 07:25PM +0800
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Article Title: Lessons I Learned From 50 Shades of Grey
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 1352
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Recently, I got a lot of mileage about two articles I wrote for www.yourtango.com about the 50 Shades Trilogy. It all started when Your Tango posted story ideas and one of them had to do with why women are so attracted to the Trilogy, with the supposition being that women are sexually repressed. That didn't sit right with me. I didn't think the attraction to the books was about sex, although some aspects of the "kinky" sex were definitely attractive. I wanted to help men understand what it was women were so attracted to in Christian Grey so they wouldn't chalk it all up to being a billionaire, and take themselves out of the running. I then wrote an article for women about how if they want more satisfying intimacy with their partner, then they must stop comparing real people to fictional characters in books, movies and television shows.
I was very surprised by the negative feedback from men regarding the articles and the lack of response from the women. I'll briefly summarize the points in the article, the feedback received and then my observations of the issues. If you'd like to see for yourself, here they are: For Men and For Women.
The things women liked about Christian Grey were the foreplay to drive Anastasia wild, how knowledgeable he was about sex, the way he made her the center of his universe, how he was possessive in order to protect her, and how he learned and modeled the fine art of negotiation. What I told women they needed to remember is that no "real" man will ever measure up to a fictitious character in a book; the love a good woman does not turn the "bad" boy into a prince; a woman needs to know her own body; be direct – men can't read between the lines; and a woman needs to first know herself and then, communicate that honestly to her man instead of trying to be the woman she thinks he wants.
The complaints I got, all from the men, were centered around putting all the responsibility for sex on the man. Men said women don't initiate sex or get creative with locations, positions or moves. They say women hold all the cards in relationships and if the woman doesn't like what the man is offering, then he's done. They also thought expecting a man to be like Christian Grey is totally unrealistic. (I agree.) The men were also angry that my suggestions to women didn't include advising them how they could be more sexual in their relationships. I was even accused of writing the articles totally from a woman's point of view. That one made me chuckle since I don't know how to do it any other way. I am a woman. That is not to say I don't work very hard to understand the male point of view but I cannot be what I am not.
My goal is always to help men and women understand each other better and to help people get along better with the important people in their lives. I thought helping men understand why women are so attracted to Christian Grey might help them think of things they could do to deepen their relationship with their partner. On the other hand, for women, I wrote about the things, if practiced, would definitely create a desire for more sex with their partner. For a woman, sex is a mental experience. In order to get her body doing what she wants, her mind has to be properly aligned.
What really stuck me about all this dialog is the amount of pain and hurt that's out there regarding relationships. One man even said he has given up on relationships completely and plans to remain single. Why is there so much pain? It's because men and women don't "get" each other and when they don't, their minds have to fill in that void. When things don't make sense to us, our brains strive to find explanations. And often the explanations and motives we assign for behavior of the opposite sex are extremely unkind and largely untrue.
Some examples I heard is one man who complained women use sex as a weapon. They will use it to entice a man and lure him in but once she has him, she loses interest in sex. There was also a woman commenting who accused men of only being interested in sex and not a woman's well-being. While I am sure we can all find examples of people who resemble those remarks, I know it is not true for the majority of men and women out there. Most people have genuine motives but are misunderstood. Once those negative motives are assigned, it is extremely difficult to come back from that and see or hear the truth.
Yes, almost all of us have been hurt by someone who trampled our feelings, our trust or our wallets but that doesn't make those experiences the norm. It also doesn't mean the motivations you assigned to those people who hurt you were even true. It was likely your brain attempting to make sense of a situation you couldn't understand because the opposite sex operates in mysterious ways.
One prime example, albeit an over generalization, is what happens in communication between men and women. Women are more likely to try to anticipate their man's needs. If he asks her a direct question such as, "What do you want to do tonight," many women will respond with an "I don't know." This may truly mean, "I don't know" or it may mean "I'm waiting to see what you have on your mind," or it could even mean, "I really want to go to dinner and the movies but I'm waiting for you to figure that out!" Why do women do this? It's because they are nurturers who are willing to put their desires on the back burner for other people in their life. It also means that many women believe that because they are blessed with the ability to read others fairly accurately, that her male counterpart can do that too. And if he lacks that ability, she assigns him the motive of being selfish or worse, of not loving her. So a woman might be thinking, he doesn't love or understand me and the man might be thinking, she can't even make up her mind or worse, she is completely dishonest and setting me up.
Men, on the other hand, are fairly direct in their communication. They typically mean exactly what they say but women are always trying to read between their lines when they don't actually have any.
A man might conclude that his woman isn't interested in sex, when the reality is she is dying for closer intimacy but needs the romance first to know she is truly cared for. Women are taught from an early age to only be sexual with people who genuinely care about her. Sex for sex's sake is not usually the pursuit of women, although that isn't always true. However, a man whose woman seems uninterested will assign all sorts of negative motivations to this behavior because he doesn't understand what's beneath it.
I say all this to say that if men and women in relationships would stop judging each other and filling in the blanks and instead, approach each other with an objective curiosity about what is behind a particular behavior, then greater understanding and improved relationships will be the result. Try listening for understanding instead of blaming and criticizing. Just doing that will put many relationship counselors and coaches out of business. The next step will be learning the fine art of negotiation, which will be the subject of a future article.
About The Author: Kim Olver, helps people get along better with the important people in their lives, including themselves, at home and at work. She is the award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life, an expert author for http://YourTango.com and writes for several magazines
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- "Kim Olver" <submissions@isnare.net> May 09 07:20PM +0800
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Article Title: Ten Reasons To Become A Coach
Author: Kim Olver
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Coaching is field that's been rapidly expanding over the past 15-20 years. It's a profession many Baby Boomers and others are entering and it's a supervision skill many managers and teachers are learning.
Coaching comes out of an understanding of human motivation. People are motivated by internal motivation, not external rewards and consequences. Much research has been done in this area. Yes, you can get people to work for external rewards but the research shows they often do worse.
People are motivated by understanding how what they are doing contributes to the whole. They want to do things that are interesting to them. They are motivated by doing things that are need-satisfying to them. People are motivated by safety, security; connection, relationships; power, importance, respect, significance; freedom, choices, independence; fun and learning.
People are not motivated by fear. Fear will cause many people to seek to avoid pain and the punisher but when they are left to their own devices, they will do what they are internally motivated to do. The best you can hope for with coercion is compliance. You won't get quality, inspiration and creativity.
Coaching in the workplace helps people tap into their internal motivation. A coach helps people set goals, determine what quality looks like and supports the person on the path toward realizing those goals.
Life Coaching helps people who are seeking self-growth and development reach their personal goals. It is not like counseling because coaching is often done by phone with individuals without mental health concerns. Coaching works with healthy people looking to make positive change in their lives. It is very present oriented. Coaches do not delve into the past for explanations of behaviors. They take clients from where they are into the future to who they want to be.
In this way, coaches get hired similar to how people hire personal trainers for an exercise program. Coaches are hired for their knowledge. When their clients don't know how to do something, coaches provide expertise in human motivation. When their clients lack confidence, coaches support and encourage. When clients are sabotaging themselves or waning in their enthusiasm, coaches challenge their clients to be their best.
Yes, people can accomplish their hopes and dreams without a professional coach but they can do it much faster with one.
Ten Reasons to Become a Coach:
1. You want to get the best from your employees or students.
2. You want to help people accomplish their hopes and dreams.
3. Your passion is helping others.
4. You know how to align your clients' goals with their values and passions.
5. You are goal oriented and know how to help others accomplish theirs.
6. You want a flexible schedule.
7. You want to be your own boss and have your own business.
8. You want to work from your home and from anywhere you are in the world.
9. You have expertise and life experiences that will help others.
10. You see yourself as a lifelong learner.
If you are interested in learning coaching skills, then look for a coaching program near you. Learning the skills of coaching will serve you throughout your life while you work with your clients, employees, students and even your own children.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life coach and public speaker. She has worked in the helping profession since 1982 and has spent her entire life helping people get along better with the important people in their lives. More coaching info and free report at http://www.coachingforexcellence.biz/coachingschool.shtml.
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- "Kim Olver" <submissions@isnare.net> May 09 07:15PM +0800
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Article Title: Five Steps to Finding Your Soulmate
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 739
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Many times I talk to people who ask the questions: "Why can't I find a good man/woman?" " Why do I keep making the same mistakes in my relationships?"
When you are in between relationships, there is much introspective work to do. Without taking the time time to look at yourself, you are often in the position of repeating the same patterns over and over again.
1. Get very clear about who you want for your life partner. It is helpful to write an actual list. Because of the way the Law of Attraction works, you want to make sure you record the traits, qualities and characteristics of the person you want to attract into your life. Be very careful you aren't recording the things you don't want. Whenever you focus on things you don't want, the Universe actually brings you more of the same, which explains why some of the same patterns are repeated over and over again.
Think about physical, intellectual, emotional, financial, relationship and spiritual characteristics you want in your soulmate. Divide your list into three categories. One is non-negotiables you won't live without. Another is important characteristics you definitely want in your soulmate and third are those "nice to have" items. They would be nice to have but you would be willing to compromise on them.
2. Take a close look in the mirror, asking the question, "Am I being the person who would attract my desired soulmate into my life"? Often you know what you want in your life but don't take the time to determine if you are the person your soulmate would be attracted to. You may be seeking someone trustworthy but you are seeing other people behind his or her back. You may want someone mature who doesn't bring a lot of drama, yet you have drama all around you.
3. Dig deeper into your subconscious awareness. On the outside, you may appear to be the person who will attract your soulmate, however, when you look deeper you realize you have some subconscious beliefs that prevent you from connecting with the person of your dreams. You may believe that deep down at your base level, there is something wrong with you and you don't deserve to be happy in a relationship. Perhaps someone you care deeply for doesn't have a happy relationship in their life and you don't want them to feel bad if you find one for yourself. You may believe you will lose yourself in a relationship. You may think if you open yourself up to real love, you will do something to ruin it and have to suffer the pain of it ending.
There may be many of these subconscious beliefs that get in the way of you manifesting the person you want in your life. One way to access that subconscious information is to ask the question, "What would I have to give up to have the relationship I want"? Allow yourself to ponder this question while going deeper into your subconscious for the answer. As long as the information remains subconscious, you can't counterbalance it with helpful beliefs. It must be brought into the light.
The fourth step of this process is to honestly and accurately evaluate whether your actions, thoughts, and feelings are consistent with attracting the soulmate you want. If your answer is yes, then you can proceed to Step Five. If your answer is no, then move to Step Four.
4. Reinvent yourself. Make a plan and following it about what you need to change to become the person your soulmate will choose to share his or her life with. This can involve changing things you do as well as the harmful things you think.
5. Believe it is going to happen. Once you have done the work to get clear about what you want and then transformed yourself into the person who will attract that person, simply rest in the knowledge that it's just a matter of time. Your soulmate is on his or way into your life. Know that you are perfectly content and complete while you are patiently waiting.
Remember, while you wait, your soulmate may be doing his or her own assessment and evaluation of whether he or she can attract you.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life coach and public speaker. She has worked in the helping profession since 1982 and has spent her entire life helping people get along better with the important people in their lives. Receive a free chapter of her forthcoming book at http://www.insideoutempowerment.com/signup.html.
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- "Kim Olver" <submissions@isnare.net> May 09 07:10PM +0800
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Article Title: Seven Methods to Combat Depression Without Medication
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 1019
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A theme that has been recurring throughout my coaching sessions recently is that of depression and what to do about it if you don't want to resort to psychotropic medication.
Some will tell you there is a chemical imbalance in the condition of depression. I am not here to argue that point one way or another. I do believe, however, our bodies are capable of creating the chemicals we need to alleviate depression without medication. The medication will do it physiologically, but I believe each of us is capable of generating the endorphins and serotonin we need to be happier and more content.
In thinking about my answers, I have organized them into seven categories. Because I believe we only have control over the things we do and the things we think, those are the areas on which I'll focus.
1. Gratitude: In thinking about the first place I like to go whenever I am feeling down, it's gratitude. It's very difficult to stay depressed when you are focusing on and enumerating the many things in your life to be grateful for. Just yesterday, I took a beautiful drive through northwestern Pennsylvania. The sky was a beautiful blue, the white clouds created a lovely contrast against the sky. The autumn leaves had turned gorgeous colors. During that drive, I was grateful for the season of the year, the sun to warm the earth, the fact that I have a reliable car and enough money to put gas in the gas tank. I was happy for another day on the Earth. I was grateful for my health.
Whenever you are feeling depressed, you can keep your thoughts focused on all you don't have or you can consciously focus them on the things you do have. Which do you think will help you feel better?
2. Say Thank You: This is a behavioral extension of the cognitive method of gratitude. Saying thank you is actually taking the time to let the important people in your life know you appreciate what they do or have done for you.
Throughout my life, I have had teachers and helpers who have made my life better in some ways. One year, when I was feeling particularly down about my husband dying, I decided I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I wanted to thank all the people in my life who had significantly and positively impacted the lives of my sons during that challenging time.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I wrote thank you notes. I wrote about 30 of them to those individuals who had made a difference in my life by helping my children. There were friends, relatives, teachers, principals, and church families to thank. By the time I was finished, I was brimming with beautiful, wonderful thoughts and feelings.
3. Volunteerism: No matter had bad things seem, you should always be able to find someone who needs help that you can offer your services to. I was working with a client who was missing her mother who had died within the past year. She decided to volunteer helping the family of a child who was dying of cancer. This obviously wasn't the best choice, because it made her feel even worse so be careful with your choosing your cause but find something or someone and offer to help. Seeing your positive impact on others and the usefulness you bring is bound to boost your spirits.
4. Connection: Relationships are the root of all influence. When you are feeling depressed, often it is because you are feeling disconnected from important people in your life. The antidote for disconnection is connection. If you have become disconnected from loved ones who are still here, then attempt to connect. Try to correct your part in the rift. This may require forgiveness.
If the person has died or left by decision, then reach out for others who are available to you in such a way that you are adding to the relationship and not simply coming from a place of need. Connect with people who care about you.
5. Passion: Everyone was put here on Earth with a particular passion or passions—things that we get a supreme enjoyment from, are good at, and their performance contributes to the good of others. When was the last time you engaged in the thing or things that are your passion? Now would be a great time.
6. Laughter: Science has shown us that laughter creates the very endorphins we need to lift our spirits. If you can't find something funny to laugh at, just start laughing even if you don't feel like it. "Fake it till you make it" and the laughter will become genuine.
7. The Story You Tell: In our depressed moods, many of us are telling ourselves things that simply aren't true or at least we don't know they are true. Our thoughts and cognitions are often the very thing that is creating our depression in the first place. So, ask yourself what are you telling yourself that is contributing to your mood and then, inquire of yourself if you really know that to be true. If the answer is no, then what could you tell yourself that would improve your mood? If you are going to make it up anyway, why not make up something that will benefit you?
If you try these seven methods and find no improvement, then perhaps you might benefit from some counseling or coaching to help you determine what is at the root of the depression. Sometimes we have subconscious programming running in the back of our lives, telling us things we aren't even aware of, sabatoging our best efforts. Bringing those things to consciousness can help you really look at those beliefs and assumptions to learn if they are truly serving you. If they are not, then you can change them with some professional guidance.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life coach and public speaker. She has worked in the helping profession since 1982 and has spent her entire life helping people get along better with the important people in their lives. Receive a free chapter of her forthcoming book at http://www.insideoutempowerment.com/signup.html.
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- "Kim Olver" <submissions@isnare.net> May 09 07:05PM +0800
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Article Title: Punishment, Discipline and Consequences
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 814
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Are you a parent? A teacher? A supervisor? Do you ever struggle with how to handle discipline problems in others? Then, read on. . .
Punishment and discipline have often been interchanged however their meanings couldn't be more different. The Latin root of punishment means "to inflict pain," while the Latin root of discipline means "to teach."
I know there are some people who believe the only way to teach is by inflicting pain but the work of cellular biologist, Bruce Lipton, should dispel that myth forever. When studying cells, Dr. Lipton teaches us that cells can only be one of two positions—protection or growth. If a cell is in protection mode it cannot grow. Fear is not a good teacher. Fear can gain compliance but it will never raise a person's consciousness, develop better decision-making skills or inspire someone to produce quality work. A person who is afraid has only one agenda—eliminate or avoid the threat. Stop the pain.
The idea in discipline is to teach and that can't be done effectively with fear. The proper teaching environment is supportive, encouraging and challenging. It is not critical, blame-filled or painful. If your goal is to teach, then you must adapt the appropriate mindset. The idea is to take what a person does, see it as their best attempt to get something they want, and help them figure out a more effective and responsible way to get it.
But don't people need consequences to help them learn? Shouldn't there be a punishment for breaking rules? Let's look at that. Yes, there should be consequences for creating unsafe situations. The consequence would be a person's freedom would be restricted until he/she learned the effective behaviors to manage that freedom. So, if a child is throwing food in the cafeteria, perhaps he/she would have to eat in the classroom with the teacher until he/she develops the self-control to eat with other children without throwing food. But, you wouldn't kick him off the football team or give him detention..
When people are being unsafe, they lose the privilege of being with the group. If someone brings a weapon to school, he or she is suspended and not permitted to attend school, usually for a year. Hold no illusion that the suspension will teach that child anything. The suspension is not designed to teach; it is only designed to keep others safe.
In a work environment, when someone creates unsafe situations, they are typically written up with a warning and if their behavior continues, then they are often fired. In the community, when people are being unsafe, they may be hospitalized or jailed. I don't call this discipline or punishment. It is a consequence of the unsafe behavior, designed to protect others from being exposed to that behavior.
If your goal is to discipline or to teach self-discipline, then let's look at the best teacher there is, natural consequences. Every action any of us takes produces consequences. Some are positive, some negative and some simply neutral. If you don't wear a coat when it is cold outside, you will be cold, a natural consequence. If you catch your child outside without a coat and you forbid them from being outside, then that is an imposed consequence. There is nothing natural about that.
If a child doesn't study for the test, then the natural consequence is often a failing grade. That's a natural consequence. What if the child doesn't study and still gets a good grade? That's also a natural consequence. It's a consequence of already knowing the material. Do you think the person should be disciplined for not studying, even though the grade earned was good? What would be the lesson in that?
The best way I know to help people develop positive self-discipline is to first have a caring, respectful relationship with him or her. When people know you care about their well-being, then they aren't afraid and their soul (and cells) can be open for growth.
Then teach the child to choose behavior that is in line with their goals and the person he or she wants to be. Help them to understand the difference between short-term pleasure and long-term happiness. Connect the things you want the person to do with something they genuinely want. Trust them to make good decisions in the future.
The consequence for misbehavior is a conversation—a conversation designed to teach people a more effective and responsible ways to get what they want in the situation without hurting themselves or others. That conversation is still an imposed consequence but it comes from a caring place and an educational mindset.
About The Author: Kim Olver is an approved senior faculty member with the William Glasser Institute. In that role, she can bring Choice Theory to your school for a teacher in-service day or days and can start a select group of 16 faculty through the certification program. Go to http://www.choicetheorycentral.com.
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Article Title: Ten Steps For Implementing Empowered Leadership
Author: Kim Olver
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Empowered Leadership is based on the work of W. Edwards Deming and William Glasser. It is a way of managing people to ensure the best quality product or service while taking good care of the human capital providing that product or service. These are the ten steps to doing so:
1. Create a work environment that is physically, emotionally and spiritually safe for employees. Eliminate discrimination and oppression. Discourage gossip and foster an environment of safe risk-taking.
2. Help employees to feel connected to the mission and vision of the agency, to their teammates, to you as their supervisor and to administration. Communicate the vision and mission often and each employee's role in it. Care about each individual employee and make sure they know you do. Foster cooperative teamwork. Help administration see the positives of your employees.
3. Ensure your employees feel cared about—that their lives matter, not just their work output. Notice when something is off and ask about it, leaving room for the employee to keep it to him or herself if he or she chooses to do so. Provide flexibility with work/life balance. Lack of appreciation is the main reason employees give for leaving their jobs. It's not money.
4. Listen to employees' ideas and implement those that are possible and make sense. Let your people know you value and respect their opinions and input. Decrease complaints by requiring each complaint be accompanied by at least three possible, reasonable solutions. Respect your employees as integral, contributing workers in your company. Communicate your employee's importance, value and worth on a regular basis.
5. Allow your employees as much freedom as they can responsibly manage. You will give less to new employees and more to seasoned workers with a proven track record. Fight the urge to micromanage. Let your workers know what you want and allow to determine how they will provide it to you.
6. Provide your employees with choices. Allowing workers at least three options will increase cooperation. People do not like feeling there is no choice in a situation. It generally breeds anger and frustration.
7. Create opportunities for employees to have fun at work. Do not discourage play-making at work unless it becomes excessive. A little fun can make the day go faster, relieve stress and consequently, improve the output of each individual employee.
8. Ensure your employees have valuable and useful training so they can not only perform their jobs but also be promotion-ready. Not having useful training is one of the main reasons employees give for leaving their jobs.
9. Communicate the usefulness and purpose of what you are asking your employees to do. They must understand how their tasks will benefit themselves and the company. People who are asked to do things they don't perceive as useful or things they don't understand won't do their best work.
10. Ask your employees to evaluate and constantly improve the quality of their work. Work together with your employees to develop production standards for quality. Ask your workers to evaluate their work against the standard and constantly look for ways to improve what they and the company does.
When you implement these Ten Steps in your workplace with the team you supervise, you will be amazed at the results. You will be providing the balance needed between the quality of the product or the service and the people who produce it. Striking this balance will allow you to get the most out of every employee you supervise.
About The Author: Kim Olver, LPC is an executive coach, staff development specialist, public speaker and consultant. She has developed and revolutionary process called Inside Out Empowerment, designed to help leaders become more effective from the inside-out. Free mastermind group: http://www.insideoutempowerment.com
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Article Title: Relationship, Relationship, Relationship
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 716
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Everyone has heard the expression that in real estate, the three biggest factors determining the value of a person's property are location, location, location. In business, the top three factors that determine the success of your business are relationship, relationship, relationship. As a business leader or owner, you will need positive relationships based on mutual trust and respect to take your business to the next level.
You will want to look at relationships on multiple levels.
Relationship with Self: Because everything I teach is about inside-out empowerment, you can't begin to look at relationships with others until you recognize the kind of relationship you have with yourself. Do you take care of yourself? Do you protect your time? Do you keep the promises and commitments you make with yourself?
Relationships with Your Managers: You must know the fable about the goose and the golden eggs. A farmer was so excited about the goose he owned that kept laying him a golden egg each day that he learned which goose was the "cash cow" and cut her open to get at all the eggs inside. Obviously, there weren't any and he had just killed the means to get more golden eggs. If you do not treat your managers well, then they will be unable to produce your golden eggs.
Do your managers feel safe, supported, understood, important, respected and liked? Do they have choices? Are they able to work unrestricted? Do they have any fun or useful learning happening on the job?
Teamwork: As the leader or owner, you are responsible for the level of teamwork with your managers and their level of teamwork with those they supervise. How well do your people get along and support each other? Do they each recognize their own unique contribution to the ultimate goal? Do they all recognize their value in contributing to the mission and vision of your company?
Relationships with your Customers: Do your clients or customers have respect for you and the product or service you provide? Do they buy from you because they like you and your staff? Do you correct any wrongs quickly? Do you take customer feedback seriously?
Relationships with Board or Shareholders: Do you have a good relationship with your Board of Directors or your shareholders? Do you operate in a way that inspires trust in you, your leadership and the work your company is doing? Do you tell the truth even if it means admitting a mistake on your part?
Relationship with Your Community: The definition of your "community" depends upon the nature of your work. If you are a social service agency, then the relationship with your community would be the immediate area where you provide services. If your corporation is an Internet business or serves a global market, then your community literally is the whole world. Wherever you do business, you want your public relations to be positive. You want your community to trust and respect what you do.
I work with some people who have been discouraged with the less than honest business dealings of other individuals. In response, I have stated that people who do business without regard to the relationship of those involved will be unsuccessful in building their business empire. Many have then countered with, "Well, they will just find new people to do business with." That may have been true in the past.
However, we live in a new age. This is the information age. If you do something lacking integrity, word spreads. There are blogs, there are information boards, there is email, there is simple word of mouth. The methods for spreading information are many. When you behave in a less than honorable way, others quickly find out.
Individual trust, the trust of your people, brand trust and your reputation are all based on the way you interact with people. The relationships you build, both in your personal and professional life, are the things that will either propel you forward or stop you dead in your tracks. Create relationships built on mutual trust and respect and you will be well on your way to developing the business you want.
About The Author: Kim Olver, LPC is an executive coach, staff development specialist, public speaker and consultant. She has developed and revolutionary process called Inside Out Empowerment, designed to help leaders become more effective from the inside-out. Free mastermind group: http://www.insideoutempowerment.com
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Article Title: Jealousy
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 1029
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Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be . . . but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.—Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Jealousy is something that can completely destroy your relationships. Where does it come from and what can you do about it? In relationships, there are four possibilities: neither of you are jealous, you are jealous of your partner but your partner is not jealous, your partner is jealous but you are not, or both of you are jealous. The first scenario poses no stress for the relationship, while the last three do.
You are Jealous and Your Partner Isn't:
If you are jealous of your partner and he or she is not plagued by jealousy, then you feel you can't trust the one you love. You are suspicious of his or her activities and you make accusations—either out loud or in your own mind. You have no trust and afford your partner very little, if any, privacy.
Your partner trusts you. He or she does not grill you with 10,000 questions about whom you were with and where you've been. You most likely interpret this as evidence of how little he or she cares about you when in actuality, the opposite is true.
Your Partner is Jealous but You Aren't
Your partner is driving you crazy! He or she is smothering you. You love your partner but you can't seem to be able to breathe. He or she wants to be with you all the time, is constantly asking you questions about who you are with and what you do, may want to check your cell phone and email to learn who you are communicating with, and generally doesn't trust you out of his or her sight.
The first thing you must realize is that your partner may never change. I have seen couples who thought if they only got married, then the jealous partner could let go of his or her insecurity. This insecurity follows a person regardless of his or her marital status. If a person has a burning desire to change his or her jealous demeanor, then he or she must set about completing the necessary work to accomplish that but a marriage license is not the cure to jealousy.
So ask yourself, if your partner never changes and continues these jealous behaviors forever, is he or she still the person you want to be with? If the answer is yes, then you need to discover coping methods of being able to handle the constant suspicion and intrusions into your life. If the answer is no, then you need to devise a plan for ending, or at least diminishing the time you invest in the relationship.
Both of You are Jealous
In this situation, I would assess that both of you are functioning from either the need for power or the need for survival. You are either scared of being alone or you want to control the behavior of your loved one—neither of which is particularly healthy.
Your relationship could potentially last a long time. Since both of you are operating from the same place, you would not likely recognize the dysfunction. However, if you want more from your relationship, then you need to be able to visualize what life would be like if you were in a relationship with your partner or someone else and trust existed between you. You would need to recognize that there is something better and consciously set out to engage in behavior that will attract that kind of trust into your life.
When There's been Cheating in the Past
If part of the problem is that one or both of you have already been unfaithful in the past, then some legitimate trust issues exist. If you were the one who cheated, attempt to understand your partner's insecurity and suspicions at least initially. I have recommended that the person who has cheated allow his or her life to be an open book to his or her partner. Allow him or her access to your comings and goings to help him or her develop that security in your relationship again.
If you were the one whose partner cheated, then you are not off the hook. If your partner affords you the opportunity to really know what he or she is doing at all times in an attempt to reestablish trust between you, then you need to equally cooperate in your attempt to regain trust. You must be open to the idea that your partner is making amends and is truly sorry for his or her indiscretion. You need to give up your desire to punish or make him or her pay, and really get down to the business of rebuilding your relationship. Let go of your resentment and move forward.
Real love does not operate on the scarcity principle. In order to receive love, you must willingly give it. If you love someone and you want peace of mind, trust is the only way to go. If you later learn that your partner was unfaithful to you, then you have a decision to make but the surest way to ensure your partner cheats is to continue to accuse him or her of it.
Jealousy is like a cancer invading your relationship. It has the potential of being lethal. Do not allow jealousy to erode the trust, love and respect of your relationship.
Extending your faith and trust is a gift you give the person you love. If he or she is a person of honor, the gift will be protected and well cared for. If he or she is not, it will not be long and you will discover your partner's true character. And when you do, you will have a decision to make. In the meantime, live in trust.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life coach and public speaker who has a graduate degree in counseling, is a National Certified Counselor and a licensed professional counselor in two states. She helps people get along better with the important people in their lives. For more info: http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz
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Article Title: Are You A Pleasure Junky?
Author: Kim Olver
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What is a pleasure junky, you ask? A pleasure junky is a person always seeking happiness in short-term, feel good ways. A pleasure junky would choose junk food over good health, casual sex over a committed relationship and impulse spending over long-term saving. A pleasure junky wants to feel good most of the time and looks for things outside him or herself to supply those good feelings.
Look at these three questions to see if you would be considered a pleasure junky:
* Do you find yourself making long-term goals and then sabotaging them by not taking the required action to accomplish them? An example would be deciding you want to pay off your credit cards on an accelerated plan but you keep buying things you don't need and make payments substantially less than you had planned. Another example might be you have a diet plan that includes only eating when you are hungry. However, you find yourself often making plans with friends to go out to eat and you find yourself snacking when you are bored, lonely or anxious or as a reward to yourself.
* Do you find yourself frequently needing to reward yourself in order to feel good about yourself? Do you often do things you have told yourself you wouldn't do? For example, do you reward yourself with a new outfit for weight loss when you promised yourself you would wait until you went down two sizes instead of one? Do you reward yourself with a hot fudge sundae when you have lost a certain amount of weight?
* Do you find yourself often seeking pleasure in things outside yourself? Do you look toward people, places, things and accomplishments to make you truly happy? Are you waiting for the right relationship, your children to be grown, your advance degree, your house to be paid off or your retirement to be happy? Do you drag yourself through the week waiting for the pleasures of the weekend?
People who are looking to be truly happy have to complete the job from the inside out. Authentic happiness does not come from people, things and accomplishments. Happiness comes from how you are in the world. Happiness is generated from your core when you live in the moment by being fully present, are grateful for what you have and have the desire and ability to find the gift or the lesson in all things. That is the key to being authentically happy.
You will never achieve true happiness by being a pleasure junky. Let's look at each behavior individually.
* Live in the Moment: Much is said about living in the moment but how do you actually do it? You need to become conscious, guarding against thoughts of the past or future and constantly bring yourself back to the current moment, which is all there really is of reality anyway. Most of us waste our "now" moments regretting or reminiscing about the past or worrying or planning for the future. When you engage in those activities, you miss the only real moment you have—right now.
* Live in Gratitude: No matter what is happening in your life, living in gratitude is possible. As my friend says, "Any day above ground is a good day." As long as you are still here, you can find things to be grateful for. Start with being grateful for the air you breathe, the sunshine on your face, the rain that nourishes growth, your shelter that protects you from the elements. Once you start with the little things, you can easily generate to the bigger things. Instead of being upset about the money you owe, be grateful you have a credit line to have it available to you. Instead of being angry with a friend, be thankful to have friends in your life. Instead of wishing for a better job, be grateful to have the one you've got.
* Find the Lesson or Gift: No matter what happens to you in your life, if you have the mind to look for it, you can find a lesson or a gift. Growth comes from pain. What terrible thing has happened to you in your life and what was the positive gain you received from it? My husband died at 37 years-old but I had the gift of being able to say goodbye and my children had the gift of his time after he stopped working. You can find the positive in all situations if you have the mind to seek it.
In order to find authentic happiness from the inside-out, you must be willing to avoid some moments of pleasure. You need to monitor yourself to isure you are living in the moment, living in gratitude and find the lesson or the gift. Recognize that happiness is not elusive at all. It lives inside of you and you can have access to it whenever you want. You just need to accept that it is there. The process of Inside Out Empowerment can show you how.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life coach and public speaker who has a graduate degree in counseling, is a National Certified Counselor and a licensed professional counselor in two states. She helps people get along better with the important people in their lives. For more info: http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz
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Article Title: Basic Strategies On Winning At Live Dealer Baccarat
Author: Dan The Poker Man
Word Count: 643
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Live dealer baccarat is not hard to play and has one of the highest payouts of all casino table games. Baccarat is one of the simplest ones to understand. It is in fact a simple game and the following winning strategies will help you play baccarat and win!
Nine is the magic number.
Think Nine in Live Baccarat. The first thing you want to do is create a hand with a total of nine in only two or three cards. Eight is ok, but nine is the goal on the total cards in your hand. The perfect hand would be a hand that has only two cards with the value of the two combined being nine. The second best hand in live baccarat is this same set up but with the value being eight. These two hands are referred to as "natural nine" or "natural eight". Here's the fun part, when one player has one of these "natural" hands then none of the other players may draw a third card. That's fun isn't it? This even includes the banker. The player with the natural eight or natural nine wins the hand immediately. If no other player has a natural eight or natural nine then the players decide to continue the game by continue betting or folding their hand. If there is a tie between two players then the game is voided and nobody wins.
Know your card point values.
How do you get to a natural 8 or natural 9? First you need to know your baccarat point face card values. You can't win at baccarat if you don't know the points of each card. This is incredibly important to learn because you can lose quickly by making simple calculating mistakes. if you don't know what points apply to the cards. Here are the values of the cards. Aces are one point, cards from jack to king are zero points, and all other cards have their face value points.
What happens if you go over 10? Well, it's important to know as well that if your hand totals more than 10 you simply ignore the first digit to get your point values. So, if your hand totals 18 the score is 8. A natural nine would be only a two card combination 5 + 4, 6 + 3, 7 + 2, and so on and so forth.
Know how and when to bet.
If you really want to win at Live Baccarat you will know how to lose as well. Don't ever bet on ties or standoffs. Also, if there is a trend then bet with the trend until the trend breaks. Betting against a trend rarely results in winning and when you bet. However, with the trend you can make a lot of money over the long run. Another tip is to always have enough money on hand and be sure to stay in the game long enough to pick up on a run or play long enough to go through your play through bonus requirements at your casino of choice. You need to know how to manage your money (Bank Roll Management) if you are going to play live baccarat successfully.
Get practice with free sites.
Learning how to play is important especially if you want to win big. So, consider playing baccarat online at the casinos that offer free baccarat. You can practice with fake money until you get your technique down. You will also pick up some tips and skills to playing baccarat along the way simply from playing. Baccarat is the favorite game of many and for good reason. It's fun and relatively easy to play. Just make sure you are prepared to plan when you hit the real tables and be ready to earn some cash!
About The Author: Dan likes to play baccarat and write original informative articles about live dealer games found on http://www.online-webcam-casino.com/how-to-win-at-baccarat.asp It's fun game to play.
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Article Title: Developing Win/Win/Win Outcomes
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 651
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Whenever there is a conflict or disagreement, the natural inclination of both parties is to push to get their way. Humans are wired to win. We are driven to get our power need met and we learn very early how to power over other people to get what we want.
Negotiation is a behavior a person has to learn. Most people don't have an aversion to the other person winning, as long as they can win, too. However, most of us are unfamiliar with a true win/win model and believe it involves compromise, meaning one or both people have to at least give up some of what they want. This still feels like losing in many cases.
When you and your child come together for the express purpose of reaching a solution where you both get what you need, obviously you both win but the other big win is for your relationship. Your relationship is strengthened when you work together toward that common goal, while using "Caring Relationship Habits" along the way.
Usually in a negotiation with your child, you are attempting to get your need for survival met by ensuring your child's safety. Your child, on the other hand, is generally not even considering survival. He or she is most interested in love & belonging with friends, freedom to explore, freedom from parental restriction and the power to be his or her own boss and to explore the world.
The way to begin this negotiation is to agree that you have something to negotiate. Admitting you have a conflict is the first step to resolving it.
The second step is to actually listen to each other's position. Because you are the parent, you need to listen first. The kind of listening I am referring to is listening for understanding. You don't have to agree, just understand.
When your child feels sufficiently understood by you, it will be your turn to tell your child what you want. When you get your turn, try to stay focused on your job as a parent being keeping your children safe. It is very difficult for a child to fight against that concept. He or she may think you are doing too good a job at it, or complain you are being overprotective, but he or she will have a difficult time arguing it's not your job to keep him or her safe.
Take some time with your child to develop your shared vision. Let him or her know what your concerns are and allow your child time to formulate and express his or her plan to manage each one. If your child doesn't have a plan for avoiding the obstacles you are concerned about, then offer to help him or her reach a solution.
With Empowerment Parenting, you are attempting to avoid your child engaging in unsafe behaviors behind your back. You may believe you have wonderful, obedient children who would never defy your wishes. That may be true; however, I know that if any of their needs go unmet for a long enough time, they will have to at least attempt to find satisfying ways to meet those needs. The ways they choose may not be ways that are safe or responsible.
The best way to be successful is to decide ahead of time that you are both able to get your needs met in the situation. You can win, your child can win and consequently your relationship will win and become stronger.
Continuing to work it through until you find an acceptable solution for both of you is the goal. Never give up on your ability to create this third alternative. It is always within your grasp if both of you are willing to create it.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life coach and public speaker who has a graduate degree in counseling, is a National Certified Counselor and a licensed professional counselor in two states. Check out her free teleconference at http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz/EmpowerParenting.htm
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Article Title: Inside Out Empowerment: Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, & Transform Your Life
Author: Kim Olver
Word Count: 839
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I am so excited to be able to talk about my new process called Inside Out Empowerment. This is a process that's developed after many years of study in the field of self-development, and it has a very solid foundation in Dr. Glasser's Choice Theory®. This is a process that helps people identify their goals, uncover the unconscious programming that is the source of self-sabotage, and then consciously and intentionally develop and implement solid plans for transforming their lives into the lives they were destined for.
Seven Steps to Empowerment:
1. Admit Something is Wrong or Missing in Your Life
In order to do this you must let go of denial. If your life is already great, then you already understand Empowerment from the Inside Out. If not, take an honest look at your life and identify what is missing. Accept that it is time for a change. And clarify what you don't want in your life.
2. Accept Personal Responsibility for Creating Whatever Life You Have Now
Through the Law of Attraction, a universal principle always in operation, you understand you have drawn to you everything you have in your life. Once you accept this fact, your next task is to relinquish blame, bitterness and victimhood. You created it; own it. However, don't blame yourself because until now you didn't know, but once you do, you have the responsibility for creating the life you do want.
Another area under this section is the concept of taking responsibility for problem definition. Whenever you find yourself upset about something someone else is doing, ask yourself who is most upset about the situation—you or the other person. Chances are the other person isn't upset at all. If you are the one most upset, then you own the problem and are responsible for its solution.
3. Clarify What You Really Want
In Step 1, you clarified what you don't want. Now it's time to turn that negative into the positive. If things were exactly as you want them to be, what would you have that you don't have now? What could you get rid of that you don't want? What could you do that you don't do now? What could you stop doing that you feel you must do now? How would you be different as a person? What has to change?
4. Uncover and Examine Your Unconscious Programming
How many times have you determined a goal only to engage in self-sabotage? This is the product of your subconscious programming. Scientists know that you wire certain neurons together and create neural pathways in your brain. These pathways can create behavior that you do not consciously choose. However, you must understand that all behavior is purposeful, even those behaviors your subconscious creates. Everything you do is designed to get you something you want. This means that whenever you engage in self-sabotage there is at least one other thing you want in addition to what you are consciously aware of. Successfully moving forward requires shining the light on those unconscious desires so you can consciously and intentionally chose how you want to proceed. Affirmations, visualizations, meditation and energy psychology techniques can be very helpful with this step.
5. Accept What Is
You cannot change the past and worrying about the future only wastes this precious moment. Forgive yourself for anything from the past. Know you did the best you could at that time. Do not fight whatever presents itself in this moment. Every event in your life has equal positive and negative value. If you are only seeing the negative, search for the lesson and the gift.
6. Make a Plan to Move in the Direction You Want to Go
Create your vision of where you are going. Understand and enumerate your reasons for wanting to get there and then create and implement a step-by-step plan to accomplish your dream.
7. Create and Utilize Support Systems
Find an accountability partner. Join our free Inside Out Empowerment Mastermind Group and consider group or private coaching to give you the support and accountability piece you might need to stay on your path.
Inside Out Empowerment helps you become a better leader, manager, parent, partner, friend, helper, teacher and most importantly a better YOU!
This system is NOT for you if you are looking for the easy way out. This is for those of you who want to REALLY get to the bottom of your limiting beliefs and the self-sabotage, preventing you from becoming who you were meant to be from the start! Until now, most "treatments" for this problem have been simply masking the symptoms so the pain was lessened but did little to treat the root cause. Start using the steps of Inside Out Empowerment today and you will begin to see real, monumental changes.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life, relationship and executive coach. Her mission is to help people get along better with the important people in their lives. She teaches people how to live from the inside out by empowering them to focus on the things they can change. http://www.insideoutempowerment.com
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Article Title: Play Live Roulette For Fun And Profit
Author: Dan The Poker Man
Word Count: 527
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Online gamers play live roulette mostly for the excitement the experience brings. When playing with live roulette, a player gets to interact with a live dealer through the use of a webcam. This is very much different from the usual way that traditional online casinos offer roulette and other casino games. In traditional online casinos, a player only gets to play with software.
Many online gamblers love the experience of playing roulette with a live dealer; a lot of them, in fact, prefer gambling with live dealers rather than with just software. It could be conveniently surmised that bringing live dealers into the game of roulette brings back the social aspect that is reminiscent of playing in an actual brick-and-mortar casino, something that online casinos could not replicate prior to this recent trend in live dealers.
How does bringing in live dealers into the game bring back the social aspect for people who play live roulette? If you have not been in a brick-and-mortar casino, you would have at least seen movies portraying how hot and exciting the game of roulette can be. A hot roulette table where there have been plenty of winnings is surrounded by noisy and excited people. Such an excitement can be catching. You do not get that same kind of thrill when playing with just software.
With roulette manned with live dealers, it is possible to capture the social aspect that traditional online casinos have taken out of the roulette with the use of software. Aside from the face-to-face interaction, so to speak, which the player has with the live dealer, the player also gets to interact verbally and visually with his/her fellow players at the table. They can see what the others are doing and they can hear each other talk.
But of course, inasmuch as gamers play roulette and other casino games for fun, they also need to make even just a little profit from the time and money they throw away whenever they play online casino games, not just roulette. With roulette, there is no sure-fire way of winning, but you can extend your bankroll for as long as you can and certainly get some cash back if you know how to play the odds.
First of all, you should avoid playing American roulette as much as you can. Because American roulette has both the 0 and the 00 on the wheel, the house edge is pegged at 5.26%. Compare that to the 2.7% house edge of European roulette, which has only one 0.
Another thing you should avoid when playing roulette is betting on single number bets. Each single number bet has odds of 1:35, which is far too big a risk. Instead of single number bets, go for the even bets, such as even/odd or black/red, low/high. The odds here are better at 1:1.
It is perfectly fine to play live roulette for fun. After all, that is why we all play our games for, to have some fun. But if you can scratch a little profit from your game, then you should go for it.
About The Author: Dan writes original informative articles about many of the online webcam casinos that are now online. You can play live roulette and find the best live casinos at http://www.crazymonkeycasino.com/A-play-live-roulette.asp as well as online live blackjack via live video feeds.
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Article Title: A Dozen Stress Reducers For You
Author: Kim Olver
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If you are familiar with the concept of "Inside Out Thinking," then you already know that I don't conceptualize stress as something that exists outside of you. It is actually something you create inside. Stress is a behavior you create to help you get something you want. The only way to reduce stress is to empower yourself to take control of what you can control—namely your actions and your thoughts. You may not believe you can control what you think but with patience, persistence and practice it is not only possible but critical to maintaining a positive state of mental health.
Because the holidays are often a stressful time of the year for many, I wanted to give you a dozen ideas for things you can do or think differently to help reduce your stress level.
1. Rational Thinking—often irrational thoughts contribute to your stress levels. What are irrational thoughts? Things like "everyone must like me for me to be worthwhile." Or, "I have to complete everything on my 'To Do' list everyday in order to be a success." Or, "I can't let anyone in my house unless it is spotless." Irrational thoughts are not true—that's why they are called irrational. However, you can actually convince yourself these beliefs are true, and when you believe them your stress level can soar. For example, if I actually think the only way for me to be worthwhile is if every person I meet likes me, can you imagine the stress I will create for myself trying to get everyone to like me? Check your thinking and make sure your thoughts are rational. You may need to ask someone you trust to help you with this because if you actually believe the irrational thoughts, then you will have a difficult time recognizing they are irrational.
2. Inside Out Thinking—Instead of spending your time focused on things over which you have no control, look at the situation and choose the best response available to you. The only things you really have control over is what you do and what you think. You really can't change others. Make sure you take a proactive approach to life's situations by looking at what you can do or think differently to improve the situation. This also means no longer pointing the finger outside of you for the source of your problem or unhappiness. If you are in pain over something, then it is your responsibility to fix it the best you can.
3. Time Management—find a time management system that works for you and implement it. You have the same amount of time in a day as everyone else, yet some people are far more productive than others. They have discovered a way to maximize their moments to get the most out of each of them. There are many time management experts out there who have different systems. However, I think time management is similar to dieting. There is not a one size fits all approach. You need to find a system that works for you and follow it.
4. Fun Activities—make a list of things you love to do: pleasurable activities. When was the last time you engaged in them? Taking care of yourself and making sure you schedule some "me" time is essential to keeping stress at bay. Even though you may think you have no time for pleasure, taking that time will increase your productivity when you do get down to business.
5. Relaxation—do you meditate, visualize your "happy place," get massage or do some deep muscle relaxation? This is a sure way to reduce stress. When you get good at meditation and relaxation, it is something you can do in a very short period of time almost anywhere. It's a great skill to develop and it will substantially help you manage the stress in your life.
6. Exercise—there has been a lot of research that shows a regular exercise program can be helpful in managing the negative, physical symptoms of stress. This does not have to be any strenuous exercise. It could be as simple as going for a walk but physical activity provides a release of the stored energy of stress.
7. Healthy Living—there are some known links to substances that stress our bodies. If you reduce or eliminate these things from your lifestyle, you will reduce physical stress. Some things to look at are drugs, alcohol, nicotine, sugar and caffeine. If you use any of these substances on a moderate or higher level, you can be creating stress for yourself.
8. Sense of Humor—when you can find the humor in stressful situations, you can laugh your way through life. Laughing releases the body's natural endorphins and will ward off potential stress before it even begins. It is most helpful when you can laugh at yourself and find humor in everyday situations.
9. Support System—having a healthy support system will help. You need to decrease the toxic people in your life and increase the nourishing ones. We all have those who will suck the life out of us if we let them and then there are others who will support us in our time of need. Look at reducing the former and expanding the latter.
10. Assertiveness—develop the ability to take care of your needs without interfering with others getting their needs met. Be able to say "no" when it will best support you. You can stress yourself out when you always put other people's needs and desires ahead of your own.
11. Experience the Arts—there is something about the arts that will sooth many. It could be music, art, dance, or nature's art but setting aside time to appreciate life's beauty can act as an immunization against stress.
12. Spirituality—develop a personal sense of your spirituality. This does not necessarily have to be religion. It can be a calm, a peace, a sense of the order of life. When things get stressful, you can rely on your spirituality to help you through. You may develop beliefs about everything happening for a reason, the Higher Power will take care of things or there are always positive experiences with the negative. Spirituality can help you make sense of things that otherwise wouldn't make sense.
Stress is not inevitable. You definitely do NOT have to be a victim of it. Know that you are choosing it. Know that you are getting something from it and then make a conscious decision about whether or not you want to continue on your same path or do something different.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life, relationship and executive coach. Her mission is to help people get along better with the important people in their lives. She teaches people how to live from the inside out by empowering them to focus on the things they can change. http://www.coachingforexcellence.biz/stressmgmtclass.html
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Article Title: Our Subconscious And Racism
Author: Kim Olver
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The research I've done over the past month is teaching me about the strength of our subconscious mind and the fact that we are so unaware of its beliefs, opinions and affects it has on our behavior.
I just finished taking the Race Implicit Association Test (IAT) available online at www.implicit.harvard.edu. I recommend you take it, if you haven't already. When you get to that page, click on the "Demonstration" link and on the next page, click on "Go to the Demonstration Tests" link at the bottom of the page. Then, read the Preliminary Information page, and if agreeable, click on "I wish to proceed." On the next page, select the "Race IAT" button and proceed with the test. I was disturbed by my results.
I am the author of the book, Leveraging Diversity at Work, I facilitate diversity workshops internationally and my score shows I have a slight preference for European-Americans as compared to African-Americans. I would have hoped that I would have scored in the no preference category. What this test measures is our subconscious feelings, of which we are often unaware. For research purposes, the question is asked where you consciously place yourself in your preference of the races. Naturally, I believed I saw both races as equal, however, my subconscious told a different story.
There are many other IATs available and I recommend you take as many as you like. Here are some titles you can choose: Gender-Science IAT, Skin-tone IAT, Disability IAT, Asian IAT, Weight IAT, Religion IAT, Age IAT, Sexuality IAT and many others. Check it out to see if your conscious beliefs are lined up with your subconscious tendencies.
As I am beginning to understand this dynamic, I find it may explain some things that have been puzzling to me. As a white female in the US, when I talk with other white people, most will denounce racism as wrong. They will state their conscious beliefs that white people and black people are equal and that they, themselves, believe in equality for all and do not participate in oppressive thoughts or behavior and might even say they would be an advocate for minorities in society by taking a public stand against prejudice. This led to my understanding that while racism is still alive and well in some areas, such as skinhead and Ku Klux Klan organizations, overall, white people are less racist than in years past.
I would be right if I were only measuring conscious beliefs. Most white people are against prejudice and oppression consciously, however, many are affected by their subconscious programming of which they are largely unaware.
Contrast this with the experience of many Black and African-American people in the US. Most Blacks I know will deny that racism is any less prevalent than it used to be. Sure there have been laws passed to protect them from overt discrimination but they know there are so many instances of covert racism that it's difficult to tell where it is coming from. Could this be because they pick up on the subconscious beliefs of most White Americans? In fact the Race IAT shows that 27% of all who take it, Blacks and Whites alike, show a strong preference for European-Americans and another 27% show a moderate preference for European-Americans, accounting for 54% of all people taking the test. The rest of the people are distributed among five other categories—slight preference for European-Americans, no preference, slight preference for African-American, moderate preference for African-American and strong preference for African-American with decreasing percentages representing each of these subsequent categories.
Stephen Young has developed a program, MicroInequities: The Power of Small™. Research shows that the content of our verbal messages means far less than the "subtle, often subconscious signals representing the core of the messages we send," such as eye rolling, undivided attention given to one group and not others, eye contact, arms folded, etc. MicroInequities are "cumulative, subtle messages that occur when these signals are negative or promote a negative bias. MicroInequities are not one-time events. They are cumulative, repeated behaviors that devalue, discourage, and impair performance in the workplace." They can certainly come deliberately from our conscious mind but I believe most often MicroInequities are glimpses into what our subconscious mind believes.
The first step in understanding this phenomenon is to gain information. Take the test. Understand what your subconscious believes and tells you on a daily basis. Know that you are not responsible for the programming you received. Most of the messages programmed into your subconscious, where placed there prior to your sixth birthday. You couldn't defend against them. They came from the culture in which you were raised.
However, now that you know about the disparity between your conscious intentions and your subconscious beliefs, you are responsible for taking or not taking action. If you want to take action, you need to become aware of the messages of your subconscious and deliberately place yourself in situations where you will be exposed to positive messages and associations with the group against which you have been biased. Gaining more positive information and experiences to balance out the negative is the only way to counterbalance the influence of our subconscious.
Bring your subconscious into your conscious awareness. Don't allow it to play uninterrupted in the background of your daily experience. Shine a light on it and become committed to bringing your subconscious into alignment with what your conscious mind tells you to be true.
About The Author: Kim Olver is a life, relationship and executive coach. Her mission is to help people get along better with the important people in their lives. She teaches people how to live from the inside out by empowering them to focus on the things they can change. http://www.celebratediversity.biz
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Article Title: How To Win At Live Dealer Roulette
Author: Dan The Poker Man
Word Count: 526
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While it is almost impossible to win at this game there is a small possibility of winning. If you ask any Roulette player if it is easy to win at the game they will tell you it is not easy, it is possible but not easy. If people are losing at a large rate, then why is Roulette the third most popular game in a casino? Because players get hooked and they get drawn in by the excitement and the possibility of winning. There are some tips that can help you increase your odds. We are not guaranteeing in anyway that these tips will help you win.
The first tip we can offer as a way of winning in the game of Roulette is to read all of the rules and terminology . By understanding the game better you may be able to win at some point. The next thing you can do is to watch a few rounds of the game. You may want to see how the game is played live rather than read about how it is played. Once you get the hang of it , you may be able to see a way to increase your odds than the people at the table. Choose a table whose odds are not that high in favor of the house, there may not be many but there may be one or two.
Sometimes winning at Roulette is not lose all of your money. Set aside a certain amount of money that you can expect to lose. Only play with this money, roulette can be very addicting from eth adrenaline you feel when the ball is spinning and no one knows where it will land and the players around the table are nervous and excited at the same time. But once that money that you have set aside for that game is gone , walk away. If you could walk away with some money rather than no money you will be better off.
Some people believe that odd numbers will come up less because there are more evens than odds especially with the zero and the double zeros on the wheel. Try that strategy , place a chip on the even numbers , choosing a number may not be that simple.. But it is rumored that the zeros come up a lot. So choose the zero and the double zero and see how you do. Always bet the minimum this way you don't lose your money so fast.
Gambling as a whole can be very addicting but you have to find a way to control yourself so you don't become one of the thousands of people in the United States who are addicted to gambling. It is a hard habit to break and you could lose a lot more than your money. Gambling is fun and can be fun if you look at it as fun, you have some extra money and not that you need money for something like bills. Go to the casino to have fun and relax and don't take your credit cards or your bank cards.
About The Author: Dan writes original informative articles about live web cam games. http://www.crazymonkeycasino.com/Live-Roulette.asp Live Dealer Roulette as well as other games like blackjack, and of coarse baccarat.
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Article Title: How To Play Live Blackjack
Author: Dan The Poker Man
Word Count: 514
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Blackjack is perhaps one of the most challenging yet most popular of all casino games. Besides Poker, Blackjack is not just about getting blackjack on the first hand or on any hand, it is about betting wisely and deciding for yourself if you should take a chance and play on or fold. The rules are can be kind of confusing to start with and then they will become more complex. There are many things to consider when playing this game. Each player is playing fro themselves, they are not playing against the other players at the table, they are playing one on one against the dealer. If they lose the game continues, if they win the game continues until all of the players have won or lost.
The dealer places one card face down and then one card face up. Never show your face down card until the very end. The dealer will show their cards so you can see all along what they have. The face value of the cards are pretty simple, the number 2 through the number 10 are face value at what they are, the jack, Queen and Kings are worth ten points and the Aces are worth either a one or an Eleven.
That is one benefit to this game is that if you get an Ace and any other card you cannot go bust or lose because you can use a 1 or an eleven. The winner is determined by who has the better hand, you or the dealer. If both players have the same exact card values then no one wins and it is called a push.
Once your initial hand is dealt then you have 4 options that you can use. The first option is to Hit, this means draw another card. You can Stand which means to hold onto the cards you have and not draw anymore. You can double down which means you can double the wager and then take one more card and then stand. You can also Split, this is when you double the bet because you are splitting the cards you have in your initial hand.
For example, if you have a 7 card up and a 7 card down. You can turn up your 7 card that was down and create a new hand. On a split nothing is face down everything is in the open. You can have double the chance of winning with two hands. The last option is called the Surrender, this is pretty much a forfeit of half of what you bet and you give up the hand. The Surrender was mostly used in the early days of the game but it is no longer used in a lot of casinos.
What is great about the game is that it is challenging. You get to choose which option you want, you win or lose based on two things, the luck of the draw and the luck of the player. How you play you cards is also a factor if you win or lose.
About The Author: Dan writes original informative articles about casino bonuses and promotions. http://www.live-blackjack.co.uk has the latest information on live black jack.
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Article Title: The Advantages Of Playing At A Webcam Casino
Author: Dan The Poker Man
Word Count: 539
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When the first online casinos started operating in the 1990s, they certainly broke new ground in the gaming industry. For one, it opened the world of gaming to a wider base of players. But right now, there is a new trend that is making waves in this world, and this new trend is called webcam or live dealer casino.
How is a webcam casino different from what is now referred to as the traditional online casino? Actually, there is only one thing that sets webcam casinos apart from the traditional ones, and that is the use of the webcam during play, hence its name.
But given this very slight technical difference, webcam casinos hold a number of advantages over the traditional online casinos, which make playing casinos online a totally different experience for online casino gamers.
The foremost advantage that webcam casinos have over the traditional online casinos is the enhanced gaming experience. The webcam shows the player a real and live person manning the gaming table, spinning the wheel, dealing the cards, et cetera, all in real time. The player can see and hear everything that the dealer does and says during the game. Not only that, the player can also interact with the dealer. He/she can chat with the dealer as the game is being played.
Another advantage that the webcam casinos offer a player that the traditional online casinos are limited from is the fact that with the use of webcams, a player can actually make use of better strategies during a game. It is not just the dealer that the player can see and hear; he/she can also see and hear his/her fellow players. A player's expression can give away his/her moves and being able to see a fellow player's face can aid one in playing better, or at least make him/her more comfortable with the game.
Heightened security is another advantage that webcam casinos have. This is not to say that playing in traditional online casinos is not secure, of course. Online casinos invest a lot on the security of their website and their software. In referring to heightened security, what is meant is that in webcam casinos, it is far easier to sniff out a cheat, one who uses a calculator or any such device to compute odds and such. With the option of webcams, a player is assured that the people he/she is playing with are serious and legitimate online casino gamers and not the shady ones.
And yet another advantage that webcam casinos have is convenience. What serious online casino player would pass up a chance to experience playing at a live, land-based casino? Unfortunately, unless he/she lives near one, to go to a land-based casino is to dress up, spend on gas or perhaps a plane ticket, order a few drinks, and maybe stay at a hotel. The expenses that a trip to a land-based casino can eat up can instead be used to pad a player's bankroll. With webcam casinos, a player gets to play like he/she is in a land-based casino but without leaving home.
About The Author: Dan writes original informative articles about casino bonuses and promotions. http://www.crazymonkeycasino.com/Live-Dealer-Games.asp has information about Live Dealer Games and a complete list of promotions and bonuses for Dublin Bet Casino.
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Article Title: Learn How A Personal Debt Consolidation Loan Can Do For Your Financial Situation
Author: Thomas Erikson
Word Count: 535
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It's all too much. You're so deep in debt you don't know what to do about it. Have you considered a personal debt consolidation loan? No matter how bad things seem, as long as you have a job, you can consolidate your debts and reduce your monthly expenses. If you are trying to juggle a number of credit card payments every month plus other personal or consumer debt, you'll certainly understand how stressful a large debt burden can be. A personal debt consolidation loan could provide you with a reasonable solution to a whole lot of trouble.
Apart from the very real personal difficulty of high debt cost, a very real challenge faced by people struggling under its burden is sheer embarrassment. You need help, but you don't know who you can trust. You certainly don't want your private business discussed over other people's dinner tables. This fear can leave you in limbo; needing to take action but too afraid to do it. A personal debt consolidation loan could be your personal door to financial freedom - and no-one needs to know.
Having said that, however, if you could relax your guard a little and allow yourself to trust someone (let's say, a financial or debt counselor) you might be able to get some much needed help to improve your circumstances. A good debt counselor could help you find the best personal debt consolidation loan to suit your individual circumstances. Additionally, once the much needed rescue operation has been finalized, he or she can help you create an effective short term budget and long term financial plan that will support you in improving your financial position over the long haul.
It must be said, however, that a personal debt consolidation loan should not be considered in isolation. If you consolidate debt but do not cancel your credit cards once their balances are paid out, you are asking for trouble. Be strong, and cancel your credit cards to avoid future problems and just make sure that your budget includes savings for emergencies. You might just have to become very creative in how you find money when the credit card option is not available to you. But hey, in the long run you'll be the winner!
A personal debt consolidation loan will be able to help you improve your financial circumstances if you are burdened by multiple debt payments, but only if you are prepared to do the required personal work on yourself. You did not become embroiled in the sticky tentacles of debt as an unwilling victim of fate. No matter what the catalyst, you made decisions that created your current circumstances. Unless you are willing to admit your own part in your financial meltdown, how do you expect to change your future? This means that unless you are willing to admit your mistakes and change the way you deal with things, you are probably going to repeat the same mistakes in the future.
You can solve your immediate debt burden with a personal debt consolidation loan, but in the long run you will have to change your financial behavior if you want a better life.
About The Author: Discover the power of a personal debt consolidation loan to effectively get your finances under control. Visit http://www.your-debt-consolidation-loan.com to find out more about how you can turn your finances around.
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Article Title: Consolidate Bills With A Personal Loan And Get Your Finances Under Control
Author: Thomas Erikson
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There are many people who are dealing with financial problems because they have too many bills to pay each month. If you are over your head in debt, you may want to consider getting a personal loan so that you can consolidate your bills and get yourself back on track. There are many benefits that you can enjoy if you consolidate bills with a personal loan.
Improve Credit
One benefit that you can enjoy if you consolidate bills by taking out a personal loan is improved credit. Your credit score is very important to your entire life and can effect other loan rates, and even your ability to get a loan in the future. If you can consolidate bills that you have, you can get them paid off, which will lead to a better credit score.
Lower Monthly Payments
Another benefit that will be very helpful when you consolidate bills is that your monthly payment will be lower. Instead of having numerous bills to pay each month you will only have one bill to pay and it probably will be a much lower payment than the combination of the bills that you have been paying. If you are barely making it by each month, having one lower payment can help you get out of your financial distress.
Lower Interest Rates
More than likely the bills that you are trying to pay have high interest rates, but you can get a personal loan for a fairly good interest rate and save some money. If you can consolidate bills that have high interest rates you will save a great deal of money over the years.
Faster Payoff
You can also benefit from consolidating bills because it will allow you to pay off your debts much faster. The reduced interest rate will have you paying more on principal than you are in interest, which will help you get rid of debt more quickly. Instead of dealing with your debt for years and never finding a way out, consolidating bills with a personal loan can help you get debt free in just a couple years.
If you are looking for a way to clean up your financial mess and get back on track towards a brighter future, you may want to consolidate bills with a personal loan. By consolidating bills, you can improve your credit, lower your monthly payment, get better interest rates, and pay off your debt much faster. Enjoy the benefits of being debt free in just a few years when you choose this way to consolidate bills.
About The Author: Thomas Erikson is co-founder of http://Your-debt-consolidation-loan.com which provides debt consolidation information and solutions. Find out how you can quickly and easily get your finances under control when you Consolidate Bills.
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Article Title: Consolidate Bills With A Home Equity Loan - How You Can Stop Paying Late Fees And Penalties
Author: Thomas Erikson
Word Count: 391
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Once you get deep into debt, it can be very difficult to find your way out, but there is one way and that is to consolidate bills that you have. Many times once you get in debt you get so far down that you end up missing payments and ending up with late fees and penalties that actually only add to the debt that you have. Paying your bills on time is essential to getting out of debt, but sometimes you have so much debt that it becomes impossible to do so. One way that you can start to make your way out of debt is to get a home equity loan and consolidate bills with the money you get from the loan.
If you consolidate bills with a home equity loan, you can break free of the fees and penalties that you have been paying. When you have to keep paying late fees and penalties for not paying or for paying late, you only add on to your debt and end up going further and further into debt. Getting a home equity loan against your home to consolidate bills can help you get out of this rut and totally pay off these bills so you only have one payment to pay each month. This way you can work on paying your debt off instead of having your debt constantly growing.
People that frequently miss payments often have to deal with calls from their credit cards and other lenders demanding payment and this can be frustrating when you do not have the money to pay. If you consolidate bills and pay these debts off, you will no longer have to deal with the nasty phone calls from angry lenders.
Many people do not realize how much power they have with the equity in their home. Home equity loans are fairly easy to get when you have equity in your home. You can consolidate bills with the money you get from a home equity loan and usually you can get a great interest rate on this kind of a loan since it is a secured loan. If you are ready to take control of your financial future, then look into getting a home equity loan so you can consolidate bills and start getting out of debt.
About The Author: Thomas Erikson is co-founder of http://Your-debt-consolidation-loan.com which provides debt consolidation information and solutions. Find out how you can quickly and easily get your finances under control when you Consolidate Bills.
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Article Title: Applying For A Personal Debt Consolidation Loan: The Impact Of Your Credit Score
Author: Thomas Erikson
Word Count: 511
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Introduction
You may have reached a juncture in your life at which you've found yourself dealing with ever mounting and more unmanageable debt. You do feel that your debt has become completely out of control. You may be looking for solutions through which you can restore some order to your finances. As you go about looking for solutions regarding you debt problem, you likely have come up with many questions along the way. For example, you may have a number of questions about your personal debt consolidation loan options. In this regard, you may be wondering both how your credit score will affect your ability to obtain a personal debt consolidation loan and how your credit score might be improved if you can obtain a personal debt consolidation loan.
Through this article you will be provided with an overview of how a personal debt consolidation loan works. You will be presented with information about how a personal debt consolidation loan is impacted by your credit score and, conversely, how a personal debt consolidation loan can impact your credit score.
The Impact of Your Credit Score on Qualifying for a Personal Debt Consolidation Loan
The status of your credit score largely will dictate what type of personal debt consolidation loan you may be able to qualify for in the first instance:
-- a low interest personal debt consolidation loan
-- a bad credit personal debt consolidation loan
If you maintain a good or excellent credit score (even though you may be a bit overextended as far as your debt and finances are concerned) you should be able to find a lender that deals in low interest personal debt consolidation loan options and opportunities that will be willing to work with you.
On the other hand, if your credit score has fallen from the good or excellent zones, there are lenders developing personal debt consolidation loan options for consumers who have started to have difficulties with their credit scores.
The Impact of a Personal Debt Consolidation Loan on Your Credit Score
If you do apply for, qualify for and obtain a personal debt consolidation loan, you actually will have taken a step that will have you on a course towards improving your credit score and towards cleaning up your credit history. With a personal debt consolidation loan, you will be able to pay off past due accounts. Provided that you make payment on your personal debt consolidation loan in a timely manner, you credit score will improve a bit each and every month. Over time, you will end up with a much improved credit score and a more admirable credit history. As a result, more and more doors will open to you in the future when it comes to matters like finding reasonably priced home mortgage financing or when it comes to purchasing a car without having to spend an arm and a leg an the interest attached to an automobile loan.
About The Author: Thomas Erikson is co-founder of http://www.your-debt-consolidation-loan.com which provides debt consolidation information and solutions. Find out how you can effectively get your finances under control with a Personal Debt Consolidation Loan.
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
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Article Title: Consolidate Bills-helping To Relieve The Pressure When Facing Overwhelming Debt
Author: Thomas Erikson
Word Count: 439
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When the phone rings, you cringe to think that there is another creditor on the line to inform you that you haven't been paying your bills. You dread getting your daily mail knowing that there will be threatening letters about the money that you owe to several different credit card companies. Does this sound like you? Have you decided that it's time to change that? If you decide to consolidate bills, you can have the peace that you desire.
If you're afraid that your next paycheck will not be enough to cover the bills that seem to be mounting each month, do not hesitate. Do not wait one more day to consolidate bills and take back your financial independence. The pressure that you feel due to unpaid bills and late notices can be relieved through the use of consolidating bills.
If you are afraid that you will have a hard time with consolidating bills due to poor credit scores, do not wait any longer. There are all kinds of programs out there to help out those that have low credit. You will end up paying a little bit more in interest rates, but your overall monthly payments will still be lowered, which will allow you extra money each month to use to pay off your debts.
Whether your credit is good or bad consolidating your bills will lower your monthly payments by giving you one lower interest rate than what you're currently paying on your credit cards. Again, if your credit is bad and you consolidate through a loan, chances are that you'll pay a higher interest rate. This means that your payment won't be as low as it could be and you'll pay a little longer than if your credit was good, but saving money will still happen. You will still pay less each month than you do currently to the credit card companies. If you've been late with payments to any or all of the credit cards, you may be paying anywhere from 21 to 25% interest. Even with a low credit rating, a consolidation loan will allow an interest rate lower than 20%; therefore, you will pay less each month once you consolidate all of your debts.
Consolidating bills makes sense. It is a way to handle your financial situation that will not hurt your credit rating. In fact, if your credit rating is already low, consolidate bills and it can help you bring that credit rating up. Your finances can be a stress free subject again once you decide to take control.
About The Author: Thomas Erikson is co-founder of http://www.your-debt-consolidation-loan.com which provides debt consolidation information and solutions. Find out how you can quickly and easily get your finances under control when you Consolidate Bills.
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
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Article Title: How To Qualify For An Unsecured Debt Consolidation Loan
Author: Thomas Erikson
Word Count: 547
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Introduction
If you are interested in restoring a sense of order to your finances, if you are looking for tools that you can use to bring down your debt -- to bring control to your debt -- one option that you will want to pay close attention to is an unsecured debt consolidation loan. In this regard, if you are considering an unsecured debt consolidation loan, you may be wondering how you can qualify for an unsecured debt consolidation loan. Through this article, you will be provided with tips and pointers that will aid you in working towards qualifying for an unsecured debt consolidation loan.
The Impact of Your Credit Score and Credit History
There are a number of different unsecured debt consolidation loan options available to you today. If you've decent credit, you actually do have more options available to you when it comes to an unsecured debt consolidation loan.
The better your credit score, the more different unsecured debt consolidation loan options you will be able to qualify for at the present time. Moreover, the better your credit score, the better rate you will be able to obtain on interest associated with an unsecured debt consolidation loan.
On the other hand, if you've been battling debt and financial problems for some time, your credit score may have dropped significantly. If that is the case, there remain unsecured debt consolidation loan options for which you may qualify. There are now lenders that specialize in offering to consumers with a more rocky credit history bad credit unsecured debt consolidation loan.
With these types of bad credit unsecured debt consolidation loan options, you will end up being able to borrow less money through this type of loan and the interest rate you will have to pay on a bad credit unsecured debt consolidation loan will be higher (and sometimes significantly so) than what you would pay if you had a more stable and better credit history.
Repairing Your Credit Report Before Making Application
While one of the reasons why you may be seeking an unsecured debt consolidation loan is to better your credit score and to clean up your credit report, it actually behooves you to take some steps to repair your credit report before you actually make application for an unsecured debt consolidation loan. As mentioned a moment ago, there are some definite benefits to having a better credit history and a higher credit score when you are seeking to obtain and applying for an unsecured debt consolidation loan.
One step that you can take in advance of making application, for example, is to make certain that your credit report contains accurate information. The majority of credit reports today contain inaccurate negative information. By clearing such erroneous entries off of your credit report, you may be able to achieve a notable increase your credit score.
In addition, you will want to try and make certain that all of your current and outstanding accounts are current before you make application for an unsecured debt consolidation loan in order to get the best "deal" and the most favorable interest rates associated with an unsecured debt consolidation loan.
About The Author: Thomas Erikson is co-founder of http://www.your-debt-consolidation-loan.com which provides debt consolidation information and solutions. Find out how you can effectively get your finances under control with an Unsecured Debt Consolidation Loan.
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
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Article Title: How To Find An Unsecured Debt Consolidation Loan On The Net
Author: Thomas Erikson
Word Count: 525
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Introduction
If you are interested in applying for and obtaining an unsecured debt consolidation loan, you will want to consider the Internet and World Wide Web as a resource for this type of financing. Through this informational article, you will be provided with pointers about how you can go about finding an unsecured debt consolidation loan on the Internet and World Wide Web.
Debt Consolidation Directory Services
In searching for and seeking an unsecured debt consolidation loan and an unsecured debt consolidation loan lender online, you will want to take advantage of one or another (or more than one) of the different directory services that are now in operation on the Net. There are now some reputable and independently owned and managed lender directory services that can provide you some basic information about what is available to you online today when it comes to options for unsecured debt consolidation loan lenders.
As an important caveat, you will want to make 100% certain that you are dealing with a truly independent directory service on the Net. In this day and age, there are some lenders that actually set up faux directory sites that purport to be independent resources for a person looking for an unsecured debt consolidation loan lender. In fact, these websites are nothing more than mere portals to a specific unsecured debt consolidation loan lender.
Debt Counseling Services
In your search for an unsecured debt consolidation loan and an unsecured debt consolidation loan lender, you might want to consider what is available to you in the way of debt counseling services that are in operation on the Internet.
By connecting with a debt counseling service on the Net, you will be able to undertake what will be perhaps a more comprehensive approach to not only dealing with your immediate debt control needs, but you likely will be able to map out a financial and debt management plan that will serve you well into the future.
A reliable and experienced debt counseling service will also be able to provide you with solid referrals to unsecured debt consolidation loan lenders. Having been involved in the debt management arena, a debt counseling service will have a clear picture of which unsecured debt consolidation loan lender will be most able to assist you with your particular needs and objectives.
Debt Consolidation Lenders on the Net: Some Final Thoughts
Keep in mind that word of mouth is also helpful when looking for an unsecured debt consolidation loan lender on the Net. If you've friends or family members that have had to deal with debt related issues in the past and who've sought out the services of an unsecured debt consolidation loan lender, they will be in a position to tell you which lenders to seek out … and which unsecured debt consolidation loan lenders to avoid.
Finally, if an unsecured debt consolidation loan lender on the Net is promising you a deal that sounds far too good to be true … keep in mind that it probably is.
About The Author: Thomas Erikson is co-founder of http://www.your-debt-consolidation-loan.com which provides debt consolidation information and solutions. Find out how you can effectively get your finances under control with an Unsecured Debt Consolidation Loan.
Please use the HTML version of this article at:
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